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Why Friction-Maxxing Might Be the Key to a Happier Life
Maybe less convenience is a good thing.
Girlboss Daily
January 14, 2026 • Estimated Reading Time: 12 minutes
In partnership with
Lara here, Girlboss’ contributing writer! 👋
I’ve seen a sentiment circulating on social media lately (you probably have too) that “everyone wants a village, but nobody wants to be a villager.” Translation: we all crave a sense of connection and community, but few of us are willing to actually inconvenience ourselves for it.
That’s what friction-maxxing is trying to change. It’s the idea that inconveniencing ourselves is the key to a happier existence (and lucky for you, we’re breaking down simple ways you can friction-maxx ASAP!).
Other stuff the Girlboss team is yapping about on Slack:
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Why We’re Friction-Maxxing (And You Should Too)
Why make dinner when you can order Uber Eats? 🍕 Why ask a friend to pet-sit when you can hire a Rover? 🐶 Why draft that awkward email when ChatGPT can do it for you? 🤖
Raise your hand if you’ve ever done any of the above. 🙋♀️
The solution? Friction-maxxing. Coined in a recent article for The Cut by Kathryn Jezer-Morton, where she suggests that our desire for frictionless lives is infantilizing us all, and friction-maxxing (a.k.a. building up a tolerance for everyday friction or ‘inconvenience’) can gradually lead to a more enjoyable, fulfilling life. 🙂↕️
Skeptical? We hear you: it seems counterintuitive because inconvenience is, well, inconvenient! 🧐 But while friction-maxxing may seem like a hot new buzzword that’ll be outdated by the end of the week, it’s not really a new concept at all. It’s really just “character building” in a Gen Z-friendly package (remember how your dad used to tell you boredom was good for you? Same thing!).
The most meaningful friendships, the best ideas, and the strongest convictions come from overcoming hurdles in life. 🧗♀️ With that in mind, here are a few of our favorite ways that you can start friction-maxxing now.
✈️ Drive your friend to the airport. Put aside the fact that it takes time out of your day, and instead, embrace the idea that you get to have quality time with them right before they’ll be gone for a little while. Yes, you’ll probably hit traffic. Yes, you’ll survive.
👶 Sign up for monthly baby (or puppy!) sitting. Whether your bestie just had a baby or got a new puppy, we have a feeling she’ll be eternally grateful for a night off while her babe is in the care of someone she trusts (changing a diaper and/or pee pad is peak character building, if you ask us!).
👏 Show the f*ck up. Whether your friends or loved ones invited you to their work event, their dinner party, or their first improv show, being there in the flesh to cheer them on (and be a friendly face in the crowd) is how you actually build community.
💐 Remember dates that are important to the people you care about. Wishing a happy birthday is always a good place to start, but next, try texting them good luck before their big work presentation, mailing a card for their wedding anniversary, or sending flowers for the death anniversary that hits them hard every year. We recommend starting a calendar with important dates.
🤖 Stop Googling everything (or worse, asking ChatGPT everything). Watching a movie and can’t remember how you know that actor? Text your movie buff friend and ask them. Need a new recipe to cook on Sunday night? Crack open one of your many cookbooks. Planning your next dream vacation? Ask your friends for recommendations the next time you’re all together. Sure, the answers won’t be as instantaneous as looking them up online, but did they really need to be in the first place?
POLL: Will you try friction-maxxing? |
Yes, you can love your job and still be a workaholic. In this episode of Ambition 2.0, Amanda Goetz sits down with Malissa Clark, a professor and workaholism researcher, to talk about overworking: what it really looks like (it’s not just putting in long hours), early signs your habits are becoming unhealthy, and how to bring boundaries up with your boss. If resting makes you feel guilty or you have trouble logging off, this episode will help you rethink what healthy ambition looks like.
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